Tonight too many things bombard my mind. I need an outlet, a place where I think people would read them, but at the same time a place I would like to call safe.
I really don't enjoy writing in a journal. Maybe it is my dislike of writing by hand (Though that's a skill I would enjoy using more), maybe it is my knowing no one will read what I write.
I'm very connected to people, and others in all things. I hate being alone. Maybe that's why I'm finally writing something out to be seen. Either way it is my intention to leave a blog only for those I really trust.
Tonight I come to feeling lost. Having too many options, too many things to say, to think, be or become. Life has too many layers, too many roads, too much to choose from in my mind. Too many things to be labeled with, or judged by. Too many people to choose from in life, too many girls near my mind, too many fears getting to the grind, it's going to halt; Who I am or should let myself be. I can't see who I am.
Do you ever feel that?
I really dislike how I don't have a rocksolid image of who I am to lean on when everything else falls to hell. Until then I have a few friends who I will divulge little to, and cookies. It'll last me I suppose.
I tried to find out where I'm from, or going to. I didn't find much, as life in my mind has become a great ball of spaghetti. So, I isolated three problems that have led me to where I'm at.
1. Poor Relationship with God above.
2. Lack of adults I can trust to talk to about anything... (This shows in that I'm talking to the internet about my problems....)
3. Lack of confidence due to letting fear run my life.
Maybe I'm closer to solving this slum than I thought. This isn't really supposed to say anything genius, or be a call for pity. I just need a place to think outloud really. Good Night Dear Void.
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